Category: The Excellent Adventures of Billy

Billy was having a dance party! He was super excited! A friendly client/acquaintance of his, a cockatoo named Raeyr, had a club, and he was going to let Billy create a whole theme night and everything. Billy was super-duper stoked! It was going to have lots of colored lights, and glow sticks, and snacks, and he’d asked Raeyr to include some of his friends’ favorite kinds of music (well, the tastes of those he was aware of, at least). There would be some danceable hip-hop for his SharkBro, and 80’s for his BatBro…but he didn’t know what his SnakeBro or OctoBro liked, so he hoped they liked what was played. 

He took time to prepare for the dance party, making sure to have his claws and back spikes painted with glow-in-the-dark, UV reflective paint (he had to get help). Then, he helped his friends get ready! Vinny’s wings got a brush of UV paint, while Endrik opted for the suckers on his tentacles. Brandon insisted on only his teeth getting the treatment, but Charlie was harder to figure out, and it bummed Billy out. Everyone thought for a little while, and eventually they decided to paint designs on their SnakeBro. First, they did eye paint that reminded them all of what you saw in movies like The Mummy. Then, at the back of what they guessed would be h is neck, they painted an ankh, and the tip of his tail. Charlie was pleased, and hissed with happiness. 

At the club, they were greeted by Billy’s BirdBro, who said hi and told them it was an open bar, just for them, but to try and not be too crazy. Raeyr then wished them fun, and wandered off, meandering with the crowd or sometimes playing DJ. Some of the Bros were hesitant to party at first, but soon enough they loosened up and got into the groove of things, which made Billy super happy. 

There were all kinds of Bros and Babes dancing, and after a few drinks and a lot of dancing, Billy thought he spied some familiar faces. There was a moth, whose wings and glow-in-the-dark dust spread on the eye patterns on its wings, hanging out near a fox who had painted all her not red bits with uv paint, and seemed to really be enjoying all the attention she was getting. At another part, Billy thought he saw a black cat, but when he looked closer it wasn’t a cat as much as it was a monkey. 

He partied some more, meeting up with friends periodically, though later in the evening while trying to get something from the bar, something caught his attention, just at the corner of his eye – something familiar. It took him a moment to find it, and then he gawked and blushed. It looked just like the super cute dragon from his dream! Her back ridges and claws glowed under the black light, and she was dancing…with his BirdBro! 

Billy was having a hard time processing that the cute dragon from his dreams was very real, so it didn’t occur to him to do anything other than stare for a while. He had been gone so long, his bros came to find him. 

“Billy, you okay?” Charlie asked. But Billy didn’t answer. Vinny closed Billy’s mouth and waved a hand in front of the little Dino’s face, causing him to blink and look around. Charlie repeated his question. 

“Rawr!” Billy said, looking at Charlie, but pointing toward what he’d been looking at. 

“Dude, there’s a lot of pretty shit here.” Vinny remarked. “Be specific.”

“Rawr rawr rawr!” he said, flailing his arms like crazy. 

“Do you ever feel like Billy is sometimes our Lassie?” Endrik whispered to Brandon. 

“Then who is our Timmy?” Brandon asked, chuckling. Endrik laughed a little as well, but they were both looking at Vinny. 

“A dragon?” Charlie asked. Billy nodded vigorously in response. Charlie looked over, but didn’t see anything. 

“I think she’s gone, dude.” Vinny replied. 

“Rawr.” Billy said, feeling said. 

“Why don’t we just asssk your BirdBrow friend about her?” Charlie inquired. This made Billy perk up again. 

“Rawr!” Billy said, congratulating Charlie on the great idea. 

The only problem? BirdBro had wandered off! And so had Vinny! Oh, now what would Billy do? Would he ever find the pretty dragon again?

Billy: Rawr?
Author: Well, I’ll guess you’ll have to wait and find out, little dino
Billy: Rawr…
Author: Don’t frown. I promise we’ll see her again.
Billy: Rawr?
Author: Really.

Billy had had a very eventful weekend with his friends. They had all sat down to play video games! Everyone except for Charlie. But that was okay – he played referee on their tournament! Brandon kept trying to make wagers, but no one could afford to match him, so that didn’t work out, and he wasn’t allowed to bribe anyone – Charlie told him so before he could even try to ask anyone to throw a game. 

Endrik played for a little while – as two different characters at once! At least until he grew bored and wanted to play with his Legos again. It had all come down to Billy and Vinny, and had lasted a really long time. Charlie said it only took so long because they were both being stubborn, and Billy guessed it was so, because Brandon and Endrik had eventually gone home. Charlie was a good sport and stuck around, though Billy suspected Charlie only called Vinny the winner because Vinny threatened to carry him off into the night and drop him in Death Valley. 

While he wasn’t completely sure, Billy thought he had been awake just about the whole weekend. Now that everyone had gone home, he felt very tired, so he went to bed, and had a funny dream. 

In his dream, Billy was a Prince! On his very first birthday, some weird looking fairies (at least, Billy thought they were supposed to be fairies) gave him blessings. One granted the gift of always being likable (this fairy reminded Billy of his friend Brandon). The next fairy granted him the gift of being chill (this fairy-bro reminded him of Charlie). Before the third could grant their boon, there was a poof of smoke, and a cackling black cat with shimmering whiskers and a bright green patch of fur on its forehead that kinda looked like a jester’s cap appeared, and looked all around. 

The cat’s tail twitched, and then its moth opened to yowl before it spoke. It didn’t sound like Billie Eilish, like Billy had thought it might, but the cat was female. “All of you here don’t like me!” she said, stamping her foot. “Especially you!” she said, pointing to the Queen, who happened to be a fox. “You’re the meanest of all! I thought we were friends, but no!” she said, stamping her foot again. “So I’m gonna hurt you now!” she looked around the room, her tail twitching even faster. 

Billy got the impression at this point that Prince Billy had been lovingly adopted by the royal couple. He couldn’t see otherwise how a Fox person and a Moth person had had a baby Dino. The cat’s eyes landed on Prince Billy, and she smiled a Cheshire grin and turned to the royals. “I declare, that on his sixteenth birthday, the Prince will get high, and stab himself with a chopstick and die!”. Grinning at the horror on the faces of those around her, she cackled again and disappeared in a puff of smoke and cat hair. 

Everyone began panicking. But the third fairy-bro (who reminded him of Vinny), declared that instead of dying, Prince Billy would take a most excellent nap. Feeling proud of himself, he began moving toward the food table, until his fairy-bros poked him and whispered something. With an annoyed sigh, he rolled his eyes and moved back to the Prince. “Okay, fine…he can wake up…but I can only make it so that, like, it’s with a kiss. But the kiss has to come from a total hottie who will totally love him for who he is.” he said. Once his fairy-bros let him go, he went and got food. 

From that day forward, chopsticks were banned from the kingdom. With the banning of chopsticks came the banning of all foods that were eaten with chopsticks, and Prince Billy never knew the about chopsticks or food to eat them with. In time, everyone forgot about the curse, and even the existence of chopsticks and the cuisine that went with. As the Prince grew, he became the most chill, most lovable little dino one could ever hope for. 

Then, on the day of his sixteenth birthday, he was out exploring before that evening’s celebration. A small pop-up food stall had been set up in the village below as part of the festivities. There were plenty of other booths around, but this one was a little out of the way, and the smells coming from it – oh, they were divine! Billy’s mouth began watering as soon as he smelled the food cooking, and began making his way over. 

Manning the booth was what appeared to be a Rooster that had partially fused with a machine. Billy was curious, but he was too hungry to ask, his mouth was watering all the more. With a smile, the Robot Chicken placed a large bowl in front of Billy. It contained broth, noodles, veggies, meat, and an egg. Billy picked the bowl up since he didn’t see a utensil, and was about to start, until he was tapped. He set the bowl down, and looked at the Robot Chicken chef, who handed him two long sticks. Billy was confused!

Smiling, the Robot Chicken pulled out another pair, and showed Billy how to eat with them. Billy tried a couple of times, and then…success! He began eating and it was soooo good! He couldn’t wait to just eat it all up, so he ate faster. In doing so though, his fingers fumbled the chopsticks, one fell. In an effort to grab it, Billy dropped the other, and tried to grab that as well, ending up most heinously uncoordinated. He thought he had  things for a moment and then – pain. Owie…why did it hurt? He yawned. Why was he so sleepy? He yawned again, and fell off the stool and onto the ground, and was soon snoring away.  

Billy thought his dream was really weird. He also through it was making him hungry. He was still dreaming though, so maybe he could eat when he woke up. While he was thinking these thoughts, he kind of missed what was going on in the dream, and just saw that Prince Billy was in a room and sleeping, occasionally snoring. He was wondering what Prince Billy was dreaming about, when suddenly the perspective changed. He couldn’t see anything! After a moment, there was a nice, warm feeling, and then slowly, he could see things!

He was confused a moment, and then realized, he was Prince Billy! Not an observer! Floating in front of him was a super cute dragon, who blushed when she saw him noticing her. She waved shyly and pointed to a handmade card. Prince Billy looked over and picked up the card. It had very pretty drawings, and a very nice message about how awesome she thought he was. He looked up to say thank you, but she was gone! He was determined to find out who she was. 

It was just as Prince Billy hopped out of bed, that Billy himself woke up – because he’d fallen onto the floor. “Rawr.” he grumbled. That dragon had been really cute! He wanted to know more. He tried to go back to sleep, but couldn’t. Sighing, he got up and went to his computer, hoping that he could have the dream again soon.

“Rawr!” Billy called after his friends as they left. He was a happy little dino. Not only was he friends with Vinny the Bat and Brandon the Shark, but he had met new friends too! 

Endrik the Octopus was an interesting sort. He seemed like a good guy, but was always trying to build things out of other things, like those things were Legos. Billy figured he was just some kind of artist. Sometimes what he made was really neat! Other times, they were really weird. 

Charlie the Snake he thought was just really cool. First, he was a snek! And sneks were cool! Charlie also had scales, just like he did! Only Charlie’s were black, and Billy’s were green. Then, Charlie could often be quite, but he was really awesome when it came to philosophizing! Billy liked having someone to philosophize with.

After everyone left, Billy yawned. He felt sleepy after a long night of hanging out with everyone, so he locked the doors, and turned off the lights, with the intention of going to bed. When he turned off the lights though, there was a noise! Quickly, he turned the lights back on and looked around, but he didn’t see anything, so he turned them back off, and headed upstairs. 

As he headed upstairs, he heard a funny echo, like he was being followed. Quickly, he turned around, but no one was there. He dug around in his fanny pack for his flashlight, and turned it on, looking around for the source of the noise. He couldn’t see anything – but he did hear something! It was a snicker, like someone laughing. 

“Rawr?” he called out, but no one answered. After a long time, he turned around, so he could head back to his room. When he turned around though, he saw a scary face!

“Rawr!” he cried out, feeling scared. Quickly, he ran back downstairs. Every room he went in, the scary face would pop up again, and he would run to a different room. Maybe a scary movie marathon had been a bad idea after all! Billy lost track of where he was running, he ended up getting so scared. It really looked like an episode of Scooby-Doo!

Eventually, he managed to think to run outside. When he looked over his shoulder, he didn’t see the spooky faced ghost – yet. He looked around, and ran for the only place he thought he could be safe – a tiny little greenhouse. He ran in there, and closed the door, then took a minute to catch his breath before he looked around. 

All his plants were there, and they were healthy. Near the back of the greenhouse though, at the workbench, was a funny, pale light. Cautiously, he moved closer. In a shaft of light was another ghost. But this one wasn’t scary. With a mixed cry of relief, happiness and sadness, he ran towards the ghostly Flower, his arms outstretched. To his surprise, the ghost was able to hug him.

“Rawr?” he asked in confusion. 

“My sweet Billy.” the ghost said, smiling at him, petting his head like she used to. “Don’t be scared…I asked Kyle to get you to come here so I could see you, but it looks like he had a little too much fun.”

“Rawr rawr?” he asked, still confused. 

“Silly Billy….it’s All Hallow’s eve. The veil between worlds is thinnest tonight. I taught you that, remember? It’s nearly midnight, which is why I can hug you.” she said, and hugged him tightly again, before planting a kiss on his head. 

“I am so proud of you, Little Dino.” she said.

Billy held on to his  mom, as long as he could, before she began to fade. 

“I’m proud of you, Little Dino.” she said again. “I’ll always look out for you.”

“Rawr.” he said, wanting to say it before she needed to go away again.

She smiled, and the  image and her next worlds would stick with Billy. “I love you too, my Little Dino.”

Billy waited until she had completely faded, then turned around, and caught the ghostly Kyle, waving goodbye and smiled apologetically as he faded. Billy nodded his forgiveness, and then went inside to go to bed. As he snuggled down under the covers, he thought he felt better. He’d gotten to say goodbye to his mama, but also got to know she was watching over him. It made him happy to know that she loved him, and watched over him.

“Rawr rawr.” he muttered, as he fell asleep.

Billy and Vinny got along pretty well as friends. Vinny learned that Billy was a dino of no particular type, and Billy learned that Vinny was a vampire bat. Some things they both liked was fun food, good music, and cheesy movies. Tonight they were set to watch something spooky, but before they did that, they had decided to make pizza. Vince’s pizza, a largely bacon and snausage affair, was almost done, and Billy’s was waiting to bake. Billy’s pizza was typical crust, typical sauce, but piled with all kinds of meats. Presently, however, he was putting something decidedly non-meat on top.

“That’s nor oregano, is it?” Vinny asked as he watched Billy sprinkly small bits of a green plant all over the pie before carefully placing it into the oven.

“Rawr.” Billy said.

“Though so.” Vinny replied, heading to the fridge for a Bludwiser he had placed there earlier. Billy had tried the Bludwiser before. He didn’t like any of the flavors, so he was more than happy to let Vinny not share. It was later, when they were sitting down to their spooky movie and quality homemade ‘za, that a knock sounded at the door.

“Rawr rawr!” Billy said, setting his food down and skating over to get the door. When he opened it, he was greeted by someone new – someone with many, many teeth.

_{Billy: Rawr rawr?
Narrator: I was getting to what was at the door.
Billy: Rawr?
Narrator: I promise, they’re only a little scary, and never to friends.
Billy: Rawr!}

“Good evening.” the new person said, smiling to reveal even more teeth.

“Rawr…” Billy said, sounding a little afraid. After all, the guest at the door was a Great White Shark!

“I don’t mean to startle you, but I smelled Vinny in the area. Do you know him? Vampire bat, tall, lazy?”

Billy blinked once or twice, then turned his head to call into the house. “Rawr…?”

After a moment, Vinny appeared. When he saw who was at the door, he sighed. “It’s okay Billy, he doesn’t bite unless you ask.”

“Rawr.” Billy said, sounding relieved. He invited the shark inside, and closed the door.

“What smells so delightful?” the shark asked.

“Manners, man.” Vince said, mocking his aristocratic tone.

“Oh, quite right.” he said, and held out a fin. “The name’s Brandon. And you are?”

Billy looked at Vinny, then looked at the fin, and shook it vigorously. “Rawr!” he said, proudly declaring who he was.

“Billy.” Vinny translated, after taking a big swig of Blud.

“Oh. Pleasure.” he said to the little dino.

“Rawr?” Billy asked, and pointed to the living room.

“Oh, well if you insist…” Brandon said. Vinny, remembering the shark’s earlier request, retrieved a juicy bit of steak from the fridge for him, as well as some Blud.

“Thank you.” Brandon said, and settled in with them to watch a movie.

Billy didn’t know how the bat and the shark knew each other, but the shark seemed okay, and he trusted Vinny. Besides, Brandon seemed to enjoy the relaxed, no-expectations atmosphere. Maybe he would be a new friend?

_{Billy: Rawr?
Narrator: We’ll have to wait and see.}

Once upon a time, there was a little dino named Billy.

_{Billy: rawr!
Yes Billy, it’s you – now be quiet and listen to the story.
rawr.}

Billy was a lonely dino. One day, he decided to go out and make some friends. He packed a few things, put on his skates, and went outside. The city was too big to go look for friends, and he might make people mad, or even scare them, so he decided to start by looking in his backyard.

It was a very big backyard. He went all the way from the back door, to where he thought he remembered a fence being, only there was no fence. He shrugged, and skated onward, past the neatly kept lawn and into a more wooded area. It was tricky to not trip on all the fallen debris, but Billy was very good with his skates.

Eventually, Billy discovered a small cave. Could a new friend be waiting inside? Cautiously, he poked his head in, but it was very dark, and he wasn’t sure how he would see. Pouting, he plopped down on the ground nearby and thought and thought about how he might be able to see. After a few minutes, he held up a finger, then rummaged around in his fanny pack (a backpack was too difficult for him to shrug on and off, you see).

After a moment’s rummaging, Billy proudly held aloft a flashlight. “Rawr!” he declared triumphantly. Clicking it off and on three times to make sure the batteries were okay, he slowly rolled his way in. He didn’t see anything at first, but as he went deeper, he began to hear some light snoring coming from ahead. Oh, what was he going to discover?

_{Narrator: What do you think is in the cave?
Billy: rawr?
Narrator: No, not a bear.
Billy: Rawr rawr?
Narrator: You’ll see….}

Billy shined his flashlight all around, and eventually came across a bat hanging from the ceiling. The bat was making the snoring noises, and didn’t notice Billy, who stared in awe at the wings wrapped around it’s body, with the head tucked in. Billy wanted to say hi to the bat, but wasn’t sure how to wake him. So he looked around, and he thought. The bat’s head was tucked into it’s wings, so he couldn’t shine the light in his eyes. Anyway, that would be mean! He couldn’t find anything nearby to poke him with either, so Billy did the only thing he could think of.

“Rawr!” he called loudly, his voice echoing throughout the cave.

The bat began to slowly blink, and then yawn before noticing Billy, looking at him as if to say ‘What the hell, man’. After a moment, the bat unfurled its wings and let go of the cave ceiling, propelling himself downward to land in front of Billy (incidentally letting out a massive fart as he did so).

There they stood, Billy trying not to vibrate with excitement at the potential of having a new friend, and the bat looking him over as it scratched its belly, before tilting its head slightly to the side in a questioning manner, not unlike a dog.

“Rawr!” declared Billy, happily announcing who he was.

The bat blinked in confusion for a moment as its still sleepy mind processed what Billy said. “Uh…mrow?” it finally responded, sounding more like a cat than a bat.

Billy excitedly shook the bat’s claw. “Rawr rawr?” he asked, wondering if they could be friends.

The bat looked at him a moment before speaking again. “Uhhh…no speakenzie dino.”

“Rawr.” Billy said, looking sad.

“I can understand…just not speak it. Sure…we can try being friends.”

“Rawr!” Billy exclaimed, jumping with excitement for a moment. After calming down, he asked “Rawr?”

“You can call me Vinny.” the bat said.

After that, Vinny and Billy went back to Billy’s house, where they had snacks and played video games – and had lots of fun!